I know you'll be a star in somebody else's sky

I had a weird moment in yoga, woah, woah...hold the phone, this sounds like some Guru bell ringing restorative soul shit..Yeah, kinda.

But, it brought me to a very hysterical state where I talked with my mother on the floor of a rec center. So, might be worth an ear or your heart.

Plough Pose- not camel, which is typically the pose that you open your heart and bend your spine creating a release of emotionally heavy shit.  Camel makes me smile- Maybe because my calss sang me Happy Birthday in Camel pose in July, and then someone farted. No one laughs when someone farts in yoga, and this fact alone makes me giggle- as fake poop and farts were always a source of bursting laughter growing up. My mom used to gag and yell at us disgusting little people laughing at our own stench and rippers.  But, in yoga, there's a pose called wind relesaing pose...so, yeah, eveyone is all too mature and centered to laugh..i guess.

Anyway, I'm on the floor after a 5 minute plough pose

I came out and we go into final meditation; usually the part where I sneak out and grab my daughter from the child care. I stayed a few weeks ago, and low and behold...my mom said hi Natty.

With her beautiful white straight teeth, she smiled and was wearing purple. Her hair was black with hot rollered curls. She was not sick but she was not alive.
Here's how it went:

Me: Mom, where have you been? I've needed you.

Mom: Natty, I've been with Bri.


And then she held my hand, and I sobbed quietly on my yoga mat, on the wooden floor of the rec center, and tears fell fast in to my ears, and on to the yoga mat.

Brian is my brother.  Brian is 38 and had a liver transplant moments from death 2 years ago.   And, since, Brian has been fighting so hard to rebuild and progress, and he is a gentle soul with a heart bigger than most. And, Liver transplant doesn't end all your physical problems, so there have been adjustments, bumps, pain, irritations...

Of course she has been with Brian.