Monday, May 4, 2015

Wasatch 100

10 weeks in to training for the Wasatch 100. i Started from low fitness  and lost endurance levels given an injury. But , this isn't about that, it's about the tears and fear of this endeavour that is 18 weeks away.

18 weeks of anticipating anything is just entirely too far away, but with this over 30 hour mountain run looming in my dreams, and already loathing those dark moments of pain and impatience and fatigue, I wish I had 50 more weeks to anticipate, to train, to cover every part of the course 3 times.

But that's not the case. 

I ran part of the course, the only part I've run before, on Saturday. We came in just under 17 miles, and I was pooped. Pushed and encouraged to run the last bit to Pence Point, I hung my head between my legs and thought my heart might burst through. Was it the altitude or the winter rest still side eyeing me? I dont know and it doenst matter. I watched my friends power hike and run up Alexander pass, and I was pushing hard! But, as I looked up periodically they were getting further and farther away from me. 

I was able to run relatively fast on a flat rail trail back to the car, not sure I would have without my running girls behind pushing me, but nonetheless...

Im terrified of this race, and spent a good part of my day reading race reports and descriptions of the gnarly climbs nad rigourous downhill, the dark night in the mountains, only to be brought here to put it all down here and outta my head.

I want to run and finish the Wastach 100. I don't want to DNF, miss cut offs, or die.

Let's see how it goes on


No one can really know Everything about you, but

I cannot live with someone who can't live without me.
Nadine Gordimer